I got undressed, brushed my teeth, washed my face, turned off the lights, crawled under the blankets and tried to get comfortable.I don't like sleeping alone. I didn't mind when I was younger, because I didn't know any better. It took some time to get used to Izzy sharing my bed when I was thirteen, but not much. It took a lot longer to get used to her not being there after she went off to college, even though our sharing the bed wasn't an all the time kind of thing. It took time to get used to having Carlie sleep with me. The first few times I was awake all night, completely incapable of relaxing enough to fall asleep, and then, on the fourth night, no problem at all.I had trouble sleeping at all for a long time after Carlie died, mostly because I couldn't escape the emotional imprint left by her death.When I finally returned home and reunited with Izzy, it was as though we'd never been apart. No trouble sleeping with her at all.Oddly enough, the first time all three of my girls. Bill did well, kept driving his old beater Chevy truck and working hard, extra hours that paid off as he got a couple of promotions. I kept my admin job, same old-same old, but the money was steady and truthfully we needed it.I noticed Bill was getting quieter and quieter; we almost never talked any more. Sex got to be routine and not too frequent which was ok; it wasn't that important to me anyway. Besides, the flannel gowns I wore to bed weren't exactly sexy! Bill would occasionally try to get me interested; most times I wasn't and made certain he knew that. Occasionally I gave in and let him hump me for a few minutes, and then we'd go to sleep.I gradually took over the finances. I had Bill brown bagging and I did too, usually, except for a couple of lunches with the girls each week.Looking back, I know Bill was really miserable during those five years. While I didn't exactly love the guy -- I thought I did sometimes -- he was nice, gentle, and considerate. He probably deserved.
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